The heat was flowing through the windows, and on days like that it felt as if you were swimming in a pool of heat everywhere you went.  My dad was being a daily hero, driving me two hours through the California heat to get to my friends for some get together I can’t even remember, but I’m sure was extremely important for a sixteen year old me. 

As I gazed out the window of our station wagon, I suddenly was hit with a wave of anxiety.  I was just starting out in high school, and I was unsure of so many things.  Where was I going?  Where should I go to college?  Will my friends go there?  The questions were flowing through my head at a million miles an hour. 

So, I opened my mouth and out it flowed “Dad, I don’t know who I want to be, I don’t know what I want to do, what should I do?”  He sat in silence for a moment, and then smiled and replied in his usual muse-like fashion “All you need to know in life, is to know yourself.  That’s the secret honey, to know yourself.”  I nodded and said “Oh okay, that helps” sarcastically, but didn’t realize at that moment how much it actually did help. 

That memory faded away over time, along with all the other memories of my adolescent youth.  But as I was walking on a beautiful winding trail through the forest one summer evening, the heat hit me again, and I heard the call of an owl.  I look up, and its staring right at me… no, right through me.  The words of my father came back and took over the calls of the owl, and spoke right to me… “Know yourself.”

I rushed back to the studio. As I started to play with the encasutics, the sound echoed through my body, and with every stroke I express myself.  As the canvas turns from blank into a display of the inner workings of my mind, I know that this is me. This is knowing myself.

Encaustic, Mixed Medium
8"x6"
2012